I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
