Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize