The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
