he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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