before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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