I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
