Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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