White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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