I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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