Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
