did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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