I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
