Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
