Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
