Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize