i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
