Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
