they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
