Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
