ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
