My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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