i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
