I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
