i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
