I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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