I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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