i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize