Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
