I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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