I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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