dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i drank out of a bidet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
