No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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