Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
