I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize