Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
