i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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