he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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