That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
