Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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