Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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