If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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