the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
