Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
