Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
