found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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