The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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