All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
