Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
