True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
