I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
