Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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