your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
