watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
