i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
