Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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