Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
