You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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